Is a wife only a glorified Mboch’?

Posted: March 30, 2015 in Uncategorized

Is it true that a wife is a glorified Mboch’ (house help)??? The first time I heard this I almost fell of my seat with laughter, how can a wife be a Mboch’ when she is THE WIFE and homemaker of the house?

It is every girls dream to get married to her Prince charming. To get married to her tall, dark, handsome and stable Mr. Right. It’s her dream to one day walk down the aisle, dressed in an expensive, long searched for white pearled gown. She looks forward to this day. The one day she keeps her Prince charming waiting at the end of the aisle and he will not complain that she took too long to get there. In the eyes of many they both say, ‘I DO’ and life is supposed to be happily ever after. Only that happily ever after is wife turning into mboch’. I am guilty of this dream (apart from the large crowd part and mboching).

I have talked to various people about this institution of marriage, how to make it last a lifetime, how to keep the fire burning evening 80 years down the line, how to keep falling and growing in love with your one. It was while having one of these conversations that an elderly lady friend and in a group of other ladies that she said a wife is a glorified Mboch’. This lady has been married for very many years she had to be right or at least well aware of what she was talking about. This got me thinking of various things as a woman who wants to start her family sometime in the near future; what really is the role of the wife at home day in day out? What is the role of the husband on a daily basis? How do we work together as a team and not one having to bear more than they can handle in this generation where we are both running and working towards fulfilling our dreams at home, in the society and career wise? I do not mean the proverbs 31 wife or the husband of the missing Proverbs…

A husband and wife will wake up at almost the same time every day but most probably the wife will have to wake up earlier because she talks longer to prepare and she has to prepare breakfast for the 2 and maybe pack lunch. They come home from a long day of work and first thing husband will ask is, ‘what are we having for dinner?’ He removes his shoes maybe change his clothes or take a shower. Settle down by switching on the television and laptop then ask for his cup of tea, coffee, juice or beer. Stretch out his legs and get on with his relaxation session. What will wife be doing? Well! Work never stops for her, from dusk till dawn when she lays her drained body to rest. When she is lucky she will get an undisturbed rest; baby or hubby may require her attention in the middle of the night. She works like a machine that never needs service, like a human being that never needs replenishing, like a donkey that never gets tired. She works and works her ass off.

We are prepared for marriage but in a way that only fuels our fantasies but barely the reality, I have gone through pre-marital counseling and trust me I feel half baked for this role. And most women would agree with me. We arrive from the romantic honeymoon and reality slaps us in the face. The slap is so hard that it can almost land you into a comma. You work tirelessly while hubby will not raise a finger to help (there are very few lucky ones who always get his assistance even without asking) and when you ask for assistance you are told you are nagging.

The house help does everything from morning to evening; making breakfast , parking lunches for you and the kids, cleaning your car, cleaning the utensils, washing your clothes and ironing them, folding those that need folding and putting them away, cooking, taking the children to the stage in the morning if they aren’t dropped off by the parents on their way to work, watching alittle television during the day, in the evening she will wait for the school bus that takes too long to arrive so that the children have someone to walk home with, she ensures there is tea and a snack for the children, washing the children when they get home from school, ensuring that they do their homework. And when you get home all you do is keep sending her and complaining of what she hasn’t done right….

I seriously thought we were a team or rather that was my expectation. That on the days I feel like the kitchen is too far hubby will make me seat cozy and help me on this one day (which comes every blue moon) without feeling like am misusing him. That when the children come I will not be spending sleepless nights and looking like a zombie all alone. I thought we would take turns to assist hence being functional in all our endeavors. So is wife only a glorified Mboch’? What really is her role and that of husband?


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