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Her unfilled worth

Posted: February 18, 2017 in Uncategorized

What is a girls worth? What is a girls beauty? Who determines her beauty? Which body type is most beautiful? Is it her brains, her eyes, her hair, her ears, her bosom, her breast, her make up, her …

Source: Her unfilled worth

Her unfilled worth

Posted: February 18, 2017 in Uncategorized

What is a girls worth? What is a girls beauty? Who determines her beauty? Which body type is most beautiful? Is it her brains, her eyes, her hair, her ears, her bosom, her breast, her make up, her legs, her hands, her tummy, her curves or lack of?

She never was told that she was beautiful at home. Never encouraged or cheered on. Her ever effort was met with jeer and laughter, negative sarcasm and it made her believe that she would never amount to anything but be like the other village girls. For the longest time she let it be and accepted that fate had its way. It took her tooth and nail to fight and prove the rest otherwise. She did not even know that she had strength such as that. But she fought hard and strong and she made a few things work not knowing that there would ever work or ever achieve it. She had strength that she never thought that she had. She realized that she never needed anyone to approve of her but herself and true she discovered an inner strength and capability unknown to her.

But somewhere along the way what she had worked so hard for was lost. She is trying to find her way back but it seems to have been blocked, covered with fallen trees of hope, bushes of despair, floods of tears and sorrow, fires of burnt dreams, heartache. But she knows she has the strength somewhere deep within. She doesn’t know where to begin and even how to begin but she has it. She fears the end being a fruitless fight but has to still fight. She is sure of where her beauty and strength are, where her willpower disappeared to but she has to once again ignite the fire.

The journey may be harder but it has to begin and has to be travelled. The heartache and pain of fighting will be dealt with later and if shall be.

Life is too short. She needs to live it as hers.

His Hustle

Posted: October 1, 2015 in Uncategorized

Hustle 1

At a glance you may have thought he was high on some cheap alcohol. Yes! His pants were wet, his coat as dirty as it could get but he was busy earning his daily bread, he was less concerned about how others perceived him.

He was sitting next to me in the matatu on my way to Nairobi. I was sitting on the seat closest to the door while two men sat on the other two seats. One was looking young while the other looked a little elderly. As I boarded the matatu I didn’t notice that there was some liquid on the floor but when the young man sitting between me and the elderly guy, I noticed the liquid and the big sack that he was holding. I took a better look as at the elderly man, he was looking weary, afraid and completely absent minded. He wasn’t as old as I had first perceived him. The sack that he was holding looked dry and he held it closely lest either I or any other passenger that may have been sitting next to him complained that he or she was being pushed or pressed by the huge heavy looking sack.  When I moved a seat closer I wasn’t sitting as comfortable since he was occupying my seat as well. He paid the same fare as the rest of us. The fare he was charged made me remember of how in a different route he would have been charged twice or even three times more for the heavy sack that he was straining to hold and sit comfortably. I didn’t pay more attention to him as our journey proceeded. When we got closer to his destination, he politely requested the taut to drop him off at the specific stage.

For him to alight, the taut (who was now sitting next to me) and I had to alight. The taut helped him remove the large sack from the vehicle. He was thankful, he removed his phone, I think it was to call for help. It was at this moment that I noticed his wet pair of trouser. It was soaked with something but for sure it wasn’t urine. My heart went out to him. He was wearing a pair of blue jeans. He didn’t look as bothered with the wetness but more with the discomfort of wet jeans on a hot morning. I could imagine and see how people would be looking at him when he passed by anywhere in wet pants and a huge sack on his back.  If his children were to see him, what would they say or think of their father. How about his wife would she be embarrassed, would she embrace him, insult him or get him another pair of pants? I tried to fit in his shoes and I would have literally collapsed of shame in a similar scenario, imagining that I have to move around in wet pants despite the fact that it isn’t pee and am sober.

This man was wearing a brave face for that situation or circumstance. He wasn’t going to turn and go back home just because of that, he was going to embrace the day and carry on with his business. He wasn’t going to let such a thing ruin his earnings.

How many times we have passed out an opportunity because of our so called “social status”, thinking about how the other people will view us. We are always in search of white collar jobs like our parents, teachers and mentors have always convinced us to do. Can we allow ourselves to carry such huge, heavy and wet sacks? Sacks that will keep licking knowing that we will still make money or would we be more at ease to look for a way out? If there is a way out why not but we should always respect other peoples effort and work. Only they know where the shoe pinches, only they know how rough or smooth the road is. Only they know why allow the wetness on the pair of trousers and not any other way even paying for an extra seating space for the sack.

May our good Lord bless the work of this man’s hands, may he always provide for he and his family. May He help us respect all hustles in this society, may we appreciate the work that others are doing because in one way or another it affects us and we affect them.

amomenttoexpress

Is it true that a wife is a glorified Mboch’ (house help)??? The first time I heard this I almost fell of my seat with laughter, how can a wife be a Mboch’ when she is THE WIFE and homemaker of the house?

It is every girls dream to get married to her Prince charming. To get married to her tall, dark, handsome and stable Mr. Right. It’s her dream to one day walk down the aisle, dressed in an expensive, long searched for white pearled gown. She looks forward to this day. The one day she keeps her Prince charming waiting at the end of the aisle and he will not complain that she took too long to get there. In the eyes of many they both say, ‘I DO’ and life is supposed to be happily ever after. Only that happily ever after is wife turning into mboch’…

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Is it true that a wife is a glorified Mboch’ (house help)??? The first time I heard this I almost fell of my seat with laughter, how can a wife be a Mboch’ when she is THE WIFE and homemaker of the house?

It is every girls dream to get married to her Prince charming. To get married to her tall, dark, handsome and stable Mr. Right. It’s her dream to one day walk down the aisle, dressed in an expensive, long searched for white pearled gown. She looks forward to this day. The one day she keeps her Prince charming waiting at the end of the aisle and he will not complain that she took too long to get there. In the eyes of many they both say, ‘I DO’ and life is supposed to be happily ever after. Only that happily ever after is wife turning into mboch’. I am guilty of this dream (apart from the large crowd part and mboching).

I have talked to various people about this institution of marriage, how to make it last a lifetime, how to keep the fire burning evening 80 years down the line, how to keep falling and growing in love with your one. It was while having one of these conversations that an elderly lady friend and in a group of other ladies that she said a wife is a glorified Mboch’. This lady has been married for very many years she had to be right or at least well aware of what she was talking about. This got me thinking of various things as a woman who wants to start her family sometime in the near future; what really is the role of the wife at home day in day out? What is the role of the husband on a daily basis? How do we work together as a team and not one having to bear more than they can handle in this generation where we are both running and working towards fulfilling our dreams at home, in the society and career wise? I do not mean the proverbs 31 wife or the husband of the missing Proverbs…

A husband and wife will wake up at almost the same time every day but most probably the wife will have to wake up earlier because she talks longer to prepare and she has to prepare breakfast for the 2 and maybe pack lunch. They come home from a long day of work and first thing husband will ask is, ‘what are we having for dinner?’ He removes his shoes maybe change his clothes or take a shower. Settle down by switching on the television and laptop then ask for his cup of tea, coffee, juice or beer. Stretch out his legs and get on with his relaxation session. What will wife be doing? Well! Work never stops for her, from dusk till dawn when she lays her drained body to rest. When she is lucky she will get an undisturbed rest; baby or hubby may require her attention in the middle of the night. She works like a machine that never needs service, like a human being that never needs replenishing, like a donkey that never gets tired. She works and works her ass off.

We are prepared for marriage but in a way that only fuels our fantasies but barely the reality, I have gone through pre-marital counseling and trust me I feel half baked for this role. And most women would agree with me. We arrive from the romantic honeymoon and reality slaps us in the face. The slap is so hard that it can almost land you into a comma. You work tirelessly while hubby will not raise a finger to help (there are very few lucky ones who always get his assistance even without asking) and when you ask for assistance you are told you are nagging.

The house help does everything from morning to evening; making breakfast , parking lunches for you and the kids, cleaning your car, cleaning the utensils, washing your clothes and ironing them, folding those that need folding and putting them away, cooking, taking the children to the stage in the morning if they aren’t dropped off by the parents on their way to work, watching alittle television during the day, in the evening she will wait for the school bus that takes too long to arrive so that the children have someone to walk home with, she ensures there is tea and a snack for the children, washing the children when they get home from school, ensuring that they do their homework. And when you get home all you do is keep sending her and complaining of what she hasn’t done right….

I seriously thought we were a team or rather that was my expectation. That on the days I feel like the kitchen is too far hubby will make me seat cozy and help me on this one day (which comes every blue moon) without feeling like am misusing him. That when the children come I will not be spending sleepless nights and looking like a zombie all alone. I thought we would take turns to assist hence being functional in all our endeavors. So is wife only a glorified Mboch’? What really is her role and that of husband?

Striving to be

Posted: March 5, 2015 in Uncategorized

Above all else strength comes from above.

Cursed is the man who puts his trust in man.

In my mother’s womb you put me, you formed me.

You let me grow to maturity without major complications.

You caused my parents path to cross.

Despite their difference, difficulties, experiences,

you made them one. In their oneness I came to be.

You let me be birthed to them, let all that I have experienced to be.

My personality is a gift from you;

the environment has nurtured it more.

Whether good or bad, it is a gift to me from up above.

With your plans for prosperity and a future that you have for me,

why do I still fear?

Why do I still look to man for approval?

Why do I dream big but fear at the steps that I should make towards them?

How is it possible to have so much faith and fear at the same time?

Why can’t I just move and keep moving towards the blurry light that I see at the end of the tunnel?

All knowledge and wisdom comes from you.

I am blessed with both and with more to come.

Help me move forward and into the world.

Hold my hand and walk with me.

For there is no man with special abilities to carry out their purpose.

But it is all by you.

My past doesn’t determine my future but I have the choice of letting it.

Each day, hour, minute, second shall be lived moving forward.

Learning from mistakes made along the way and letting self be human.

I am not perfect but strive to be.

My nursery school teacher was a devil.