Don’t get me wrong. Who is a devil?  According to the bible its one who comes to kill, steal and destroy while in short this is what she did me or us. I know my story not of my kindergarten mates. You see the thing about children is that, they see things as either black or white there isn’t a middle/ gray area for them. So when it comes to parenting practise what you preach (don’t say one thing and do another) to avoid confusing children. Always explain why something is bad or wrong not leaving it at because mom or dad says so.

Am not very sure how many of you can remember your first years in school i.e. between age 3-10yrs. Unlike most people in my generation I started school at the age of two. I must have been the most excited child on the first day of school. I didn’t know what to expect, all I knew was that people leave home in the morning and only come back later during the day. My elder sisters were in school and I think mom figured I was getting bored during the day and school was a good way of keeping me occupied. The most I can remember is that I barely got bored, I was 2yrs old and all that I ever thought of was; play, play, play, shower, sleep, disturb when it was eating time and play some more. Oh! and make trouble when opportunity arose or I just went looking for it. It must have been during one of these days that I fell inside a tank full of water and ended up having a couple of stitches. After this incident I was guarded like a tomb but still got into trouble and plenty of stitches but you can’t see them now, unless you look very closely.

Anyway my teacher being a devil, she stole, killed and destroyed my terrible twos and made it horrible. I enjoyed going to school and especially the great company of one of my young uncles. We walked to and from school with him. There was no way in hell he would go to school without me and I think we also walked back home together in the company of more friends.

I hated eating with all my soul and heart. I got serious beating for this even from my grandfather. My teacher didn’t make it any better. Eating time was always a disaster for me. Anyway, I still struggle sometimes but not as much as before. I never looked forward to eating unless it was junk food like fries and cake… Because of this I think my teacher had to sit with me till I finished my food.  We all used to carry packed lunch and at lunch break the teacher would ask us to remove our food and spoons, we pray and start eating (Oh! thats’ after she had warmed the food). I remember always been left in class after all the other students had finished their food. So my teacher would come and seat with me reminding me to bite, chew and swallow. That must have been some work for her. And her patience was very wanting for someone working with children. I don’t understand why I was always packed for so much food ( am sure of 2 things; it was either always a lot or my appetite was that bad). She went on and on reminding me to bite, chew, swallow. I was getting too full and began feeling nauseated and oh no! I really needed to let it all out. The teacher just put the plate in front of me and asked me to go ahead. This looked like freedom from eating for the day, so I thought. Only to finish unleashing all that was in the system and she tells me to continue eating. And in my head am thinking, ‘wait a minute woman! I just vomited in that food and you are asking me to eat it?’ I remember after this first experience school avoidance kicked in. I had stomach aches every other day, headaches and anything else that could keep me out of school. (P.S. Parents when your child is always getting sick in the morning especially on school days and not any other day, you need to check if there is something unpleasant happening in school. They may be getting bullied or they may feel that the teachers are too harsh, homework not done or the particular school environment isn’t suitable for them or they are being mistreated in school. Please just check you will be grateful that you did).

This went on for awhile and I kept telling my mom. Am not certain what my mom’s response was every time I told but the following year I was in a different school. I sat for my Kenya Primary Certificate Examination in that school. I was so excited that I was going to a new school that when mom brought home my new complete school uniform, shoes and a bag, I slept in my new school uniform, shoes and the bag on my back just incase things were to change in the morning and I was asked to go to the horrible school.

That was just how my 2yr old brain thought then…

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Today I heard someone say that 95% of married men and women have a mpango wa kando. I wonder how true this is and if it has been proven.

“a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife and the two will become one flesh…”

“…in good times and in bad times, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, to love and to hold till death do us part… let what God has put together no man pull asunder…”

A vow that every girl looks forward to exchanging with her prince charming in the presence of family, friends and of course Exs. To the man, a woman places her life, trust, future and dreams. We believe that our future will be brighter and that, together we shall be one. The man, he promises to take care of her, to love and respect her, to cherish, provide, protect, lead and forever make her his queen. We swear and have sworn to spend the rest our life together. Together in love and respect. We celebrate, rejoice and the couple is to live happily ever after with mountains so high, valleys so low, hills so steep, plateaus so plain within this awesome institution of marriage. At least that is what is expected or suppose to happen though no one really mentions that last bit of mountains, hills, plateaus and valleys. But we still live and let live.

95%! What! Is this institution so harsh, unbearable or has it changed with time or is it that we are no longer taking it seriously and giving it the respect it deserves. A married woman will proudly say that she has a side dude and she is happy with him because he is “saving her marriage”. While the guy will say that he is a guy and has to have a side chick. Someone who makes him feel young and alive. The side chick will say that the guy loves her and she ain’t ready to settle down and she is comfortable with the agreement but really! I listen to them go on and on about this. And I wonder to myself; how? why? and when?

Marriage is a holy institution between a man and a woman. After sometime comes children or not (and it doesn’t have to be in this order). It is between the two adults and not plus one on the side. A third party makes it a crowd.

AIDS, STIs, pregnancy, emotional and society damage! doesnt anyone go through this or care about it? I will side with Maina and say,”if you ain’t happy in your marriage then up and leave”. You may say that you are staying for the children but you are doing more damage than you know. Children are very wise and keen, trust me they can see and know what is going on. When they are all grownup, respect will be thrown out of the widow or worse they will do worse than you are doing. You shall truly eat the fruits of your labor.

Any person who is married is married out of choice. Before you say anything, yes there are those who are focused into the union and can’t get out but you still have a choice; be happy in it or die trying.

Have some respect if not for yourself for your marriage and your children. Side chick / dude don’t you get lonely at night, get tired of always been last on his list, spending christmas alone or any other holiday, that he is somebody elses man/ woman! And he is never going to leave her for you.

You both promised to work together (whether it was in church or not) and be one even in moments when its impossible to be. Some respect and dignity guys. Side chick brings in some flavor!!!

the killer sugar rush

Posted: January 27, 2015 in Uncategorized

I was in church on Sunday, the praise and worship was amazing and the sermon was out of this world. I enjoyed every moment of being there. Unlike the 1st service, mid-day service is full of families (old and young) which makes the place more beautiful. Children are all dressed-up, the little beautiful girls are in pink flowery dresses, and the handsome little boys blue trousers and shorts. they quietly play close to the parents and with the friendly strangers.

So this Sunday I happened to be sitting close to a young couple of between 25- 35 yrs old. They had a young boy( such a bundle of joy). As the service continued the boy was quiet but with the usual moving from one parent to the other trying to be comfortable and also looking for something more interesting than just sitting listen to the adults leading the service. The mother breastfed him for a few minutes. This made him settle down for about 20 minutes. After a few minutes later he wanted something more than just sitting so the mom put him down. As he continued to catch my eye and steal my attention something seemed to interest him when he looked into his mothers bag. Before too long the mother removed a bottle of juice and gave it to him. The little boy was so pleased. At that point I wanted to shout a big no to the Mum but hey! it was in church and you can imagine how that conversation between the lady and I would have gone down. A few minutes later the boy was all over and father (so I assumed) had to take him out. I continued to listen to the amazing sermon but it got me thinking a little harder about the things that we feed our children…

Juices, sodas, crisps, biscuits, queen cakes, ice cream and lollipops.  These are the common snacks that we see Moms pack for their children. Snacks to school, church or any gathering. We all love sweet things, the nice taste on the tongue. And the more we have sweet things the more we want them and it is worse with children.

Ever attended a wedding or a party or a birthday or any kind of gathering with children? Noticed that before lunch or eating children are mostly relaxed and when they play it’s usually not too rough. But immediately after the children eat have a bottle of soda, you are on the edge of the seat because he/ she is playing so close to the cake or about to break something. So what happens with children when they are high on sugar?

Complex Carbohydrates found in vegetables, grains and fruits are good (actually very good) but the simple sugars found in sodas, candies, icings and packaged treats can do harm especially when eaten in excess which is what happens with our children today and during these events.

So what are some effects of these sweets things?

Eating or drinking 100 grams which is equal 8 tablespoons of sugar equal to 2 cans of soda. This can reduce the ability of white blood cells to kill germs by 40 %. This results to a child’s immunity reducing by a large percent which is also known as depressed immunity hence the colds, cough and other unending illnesses.

Decreased learning performance and more hyperactivity is the second effect of the sugar. when a child is fed with the sweet treats they can barely settle down and concentrate on anything apart from play and distraction. ( teachers must have a hard time after a tea break in school cause settling down is drama). In this kind of state a child can’t learn or perform well.

Obesity is the third effect. Obesity is increased body weight caused by excessive accumulation of fat. This is bad on our children. Most children have a low appetite for food but a very high one for sweet treats. When we consume plenty of unnecessary sugar its turned into fat which results to obesity overtime. There has been an increased number of chubby children in school and most times other children will call them names ( that aren’t very kind) and sometimes they may not want to play with the chubby children. This will result to more psychological problems for the child now and in future.

These are just some of the negative effects.

There are healthy sugars that we can feed our children. Pack fruits (dried or fresh), yoghurt, milk, sweet potatoes, yam, milk, and so on as their daytime snacks. Play with them more, teach them on the importance of eating sweet potatoes in place of queen cakes. And practise what you preach and you will see the difference it will make in your childs life.

I have heard parents say that their child can’t live without the sweet treats but really!!! who was born knowing that soda is sweet or bad or what is healthy for the body and which child is earning to afford to buy these treats? “Train up your child on the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it…”

The Old Man

Posted: January 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

I had started this story yesterday but lost it since I hadn’t saved it. I can’t remember how it all started but it was about an old man who was living a sad life. A life that has resulted to repeated to cruelty and shame.

Yesterday evening on my way home I saw a man. A man of an elderly age. Old enough to be my grandfather. Too old to be my brother or spouse. He was too out of line to be a mentor, a warrior of life but not too old to be a friend. He walked rather staggered from one end of the bus terminus to the other. He tried to board a matatu but was prevented from doing so. With every attempt to get his way, he fell and struggled a little more with the young men that were in control of the bus terminus.

He seemed lost and at a loss. After struggling for a while, the young men proved to be stronger, he staggered away. He walked away with a face of sadness and desperation. Sad that the young men had disrespected him. He seemed not sure of his next step, action, sad that no one had come to his rescue, that at such an old age he could not demand respect, he could not speak and the younger generation listen. Sad that he had lost his strength, that the body once so strong had become so weak. He had lost his dignity, his respect in the eyes of the young adults, that his peers looked down at him, apart from those that he got wasted away with.

Maybe the loss was due to the insults that he has been receiving from the family and community. Maybe it is as a result of not achieving his dreams, for not having any dreams, for not being a man of substances, for not having a stable life, for the many times he may have tried to stop but failed, for wanting to quit consuming alcohol that was so sweet to his tongue but never managing to or not having the courage to face life, for still having to work so hard, earn so little and lose it all in  day, for the noise that his spouse will make and continuously makes, for always being such a disappointment to himself, his family and his parents, children and creator or maybe its for the unfulfilled dreams that he dreamt as a young man.

I am almost sure that this was not his plan, like all of us he wanted to have a successful, financially stable and happy life. He once had a dream of owning a big house with many rooms and well furnished. It was his dream to take his children to the best schools and give them the best education that he could give. He may have dreamt of having a big farm with many employees, where many people in the village would fight and beg for employment in the farm. He had a dream of the village singing his praise. He dreamt of having a huge construction where many would come to buy or desire to live in, his children would ensure that his wealth was well taken care of if he was to die. He may have dreamt of building a huge house for his wife and children, he may have thought that of marrying another wife or two as he is African, driving the latest pick-ups in the market but now he is laying on the ground and struggling to stand. Trying to gather all his strength and some soberness so that he can get on the matatu that will at least get him to his destination. He is struggling with the taut who probably knows him very well for various reasons; either always disturbing by not paying fare, making too much noise for other travelers or making the vehicle impossible to travel in due to his stench or worse him vomiting in the matatu.

He was not allowed to board any matatu for as long as I/ we watched and waited for the vehicle we were in to get full and for us to begin our journey. He kept staggering from one end to another using all the tricks that he could, making a fool of himself and maybe of his kinsmen. It was sad to look at that scene.

We may have all taken a drink once in our life or never for some but for sure we all have dreams. Dreams that we want to achieve. Dreams that we are working so hard to achieve. One drink can be the end of the big dreams. Some people due to genetic mechanisms get hooked immediately while for others it can take a lifetime to get addicted.

Life is not a straight line, there are hills, valleys, mountains, bumps, potholes and plateaus. When we hit one of this we get discouraged, some raise immediately while for others it will take a while to get back on their feet but what is of this old man? Will he ever fulfill his dreams, will he ever regain what he has lost over the years? Will he ever be respected, his lost dignity restored? It is the twist of life, guess I will never know.

Always live your dream, be with those that will help you get there, do that which will bring you closer to those dreams. Dont lose focus.

A turn in life

Posted: January 14, 2014 in Uncategorized

She was a girl I knew, a girl that I saw every evening on my way home from school. The first time I saw her, she looked very young. Everything in me told me that she could not have been more than just a few years older than me. She gave birth at a tender age, she must have been only seventeen or eighteen years old. She did all she could or knew to sustain herself and the newborn. A young black beauty she was. The young baby wore a face of rejection, her eyes were so sad, the black beauty desired to be loved and held. I had no clue of how to deal with this or how to help her.
The young new mother sold alcohol and her body to willing buyers. These buyers were in plenty then. She knew that she was very pretty and had her way with men. She may have desired to be more than what she was but her educational qualifications, background did not give her the opportunity to go beyond the village, to explore her talents, to continue her education, she had to do all that she could to sustain herself and her child. She had no one to turn to, no shoulder to lean on, not a soul to reassure her in life. All she had was her black beauty baby and herself.
When she went to “work” she left black beauty alone in the house, no one to attend to her cry, change her wet diapers, or feed her. The neighbors would complain but they would barely do anything more to assist the young mother. They did what they could and when they could. They let their children play with black beauty, feed her as they fed their own children, let her stay in their house when the mother was nowhere in sight and night was falling. When her only support and parent had neglected her there were neighbors and other children to care for her, give the little company that they could.
I saw the young black beauty a few days ago, she has grown into a very beautiful young lady. She is still left by herself while the mother goes in search of some money and food. Plenty of years have gone by and the young mother that once was has grown much older. She has given birth to more children whom she is expected to take care of, pay their fees, provide food, shelter and clothing and further still be a mother and father to them. Her load has become heavier.
The once upon a time young mother not more than a year older than me has become so weary. Drugs, alcohol, and the harsh life has taken a toll on her. Life has become too harsh, things keep getting harder, expenses increasing, and her babies are more. The men responsible for her babies have escaped their responsibility no where to be seen but in company of the younger naive girls. Work is not as good as it used to be. As life has it the younger, naive and more beautiful girls who become her once faithful customers’ first priority. Her health isn’t allowing her to work for too many hours or as hard as she used to. Her children need her more, she has her dreams that are long buried and never to be lived.
In her eyes I see a lifeless being, one with plenty of regrets, one who wishes that life would have turned differently, shame for who she has become and thinking that it is too late to run after what she once wished and dreamt of being, in her eyes they is worry of what her children will become, wishing that she took life little more serious.
She has aged too fast and lost hope too soon. What will become of her and where will her children end up, what will be of them, will it be a vicious cycle?

A SELFISH PRAYER

Posted: December 26, 2012 in Uncategorized

It was Sunday morning, the plan was to attend the first mass but the last two weeks have been long and waking up at the intended time was tricky. I woke-up at about 8am, too late for the first mass while the second one was fifteen minutes away from beginning. The only choice I had been left with was to attend the third mass.

I couldn’t leave bed and as I was thinking of how late it was I realise that I don’t have so much time before the third mass begins. I rush to the shower as I think of what to wear.  As I get out of the shower I get a call. A call that always brightens up my days. I didn’t speak to him last evening and a few words shared with him will definitely brighten up my day.

The conversation lasts longer than a few minutes and when I look at the clock its a minute to nine and I should be leaving. I have to hang up rush to do the few things I need to do before leaving.

I whisper a prayer “please God let me get a matatu that will be express to Karen!”

I can hardly decide what to wear which needs to be done soon, top and pair of black pants always works, I settle for that.

I rush to the stage and I board the first matatu that stops at the stage.

” can you just do something to ensure that the mass doesn’t start before I get there?” I pray and immediately these words come out of my mind I can’t believe that I just prayed that. ‘Did I just pray for the Mass to start late?” I ask myself. If this was to happen the train of lateness that would follow and the number of cancellations and apologizes that would have to follow would be numerous from all the people who will be attending this mass. The matatu seems to be taking a lifetime to get full and there is so little (if anything) I can do.

Think of the prayers that we present to our heavenly Father at times, some of which may be harmful to others to the point of them losing their jobs or their life or even a day just so that our plans and ways can fit in and we be comfortable.

There are many times we present prayers which get a negative response/ request not being granted ( like my Sunday morning prayer) may be it is due to the number of people that may be negatively affected if the is granted or because we already had the solution and a way of ensuring that all works out well.

The next time we make a prayer may it be for all our good and the good of those around us. Our lords prayer may be a good way to go and honesty to him to guide us when we are not able to present them to Him.

Next time I will ensure that I spend my morning time wisely so that I don’t end up making another selfish prayer.

Titleless

Posted: November 7, 2012 in Uncategorized

I smiled to myself when I thought of us human beings and the choices that we make at times. I guess at times it is because we can predict the next minute but not the future. Wanting and will to take shortcuts just to meet our desire.

Well! I, at times, make choices because I shall gain the joy and satisfaction that will be yielded at the particular moment (at times not a minute longer and I don’t think of the effects). I have prayed and there seems to be nothing forthcoming. Our higher Being (God) has a reason as to why some things wont be granted as requested. It is like parents, they will not always run to give us all that we ask for despite how much we plead. The request may seem so important to your life at the particular moment but they may know better and know that it shall not kill us.

Maybe waiting a little longer means enjoying it eternity. So when it doesn’t happen don’t let it break you but enjoy each moment and Know that He is working on it, He is putting it all in place. It will not only make you happy and fulfilled for that moment but it will have a positive effect to those around us.

As we live this day know someone is working to fulfil your desires.

Have a Blessed day